Blooming into Fullness

I won the bid on an online auction for a month-long pass to a really nice yoga center in town.  It is a place that I go from time to time.  But, honestly, the cost of classes there is a bit restrictive for me.  In addition, I still don’t have a lot of free time to go to studio classes on a regular basis.  I’m accepting of both.  However, I am grateful for the pass.  It comes at a good time.  My geology classes are finishing up for the semester.  My two girls are still in school.  And, I have a few days per week that I can spend some quality time with myself.

It is also May… my birthday.  A great time to spend some quality time with myself.

So, it was my second time at a new-to-me yoga class and teacher:  the whole theme was pulled from Rick Hanson’s book, Buddha’s Brain.  One of the biggest lessons from the book is that our brains are hard-wired for retaining negative experiences.  They have served us well evolutionarily — to have fear is to survive.  However, this response does not really serve us well anymore in our society.  Our culture has changed dramatically, especially in the last few centuries.  So, the focus of the class today:  SAVOR.  Savor the positive in life.  Be open to the positive in life.  Yes!

The whole class was a series of strength and opening.  My body loved every minute…being pushed to the edge..being open to what the postures could provide.  It didn’t matter what anyone else around me was doing.  And, I didn’t care if they notice me or not.  I was open, giving my all to my practice.  In a community space, it is different than a home practice.  And, while I love my home practice, it feels really great to be open and accepting in community.

As I lay in savasana at the end of the class, I listened to the birds and felt the fresh air lightly touching my skin.  I drifted off to a far-away place, a safe place, surrounded by love.

The catch was, though, that as the yoga teacher began to speak again, I felt my body flinch.  Fear?  Perhaps.  Startled?  Absolutely.  Part of me was not quite ready to come back yet.

Balance.  It is all about balance.  We still need to retain the negatives, to keep ourselves safe.  But, we could use a lot more of openness.  I left the class with a heart full of love, blooming into fullness as the sweet smelling peonies in our garden.


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